Thursday, May 04, 2006

Seems something stuck in Chad's craw a bit

Well, that e-mail I sent to the Worst Columnist in the World finally made it into his paper. The five of you who read this blog regularly may remember -- a couple months ago I finally got fed up with this guy's godawful copy and sent him a nastygram. He responded, and I wrote back. I declared the war over and claimed victory.

Mr. Hutchinson, however, decided he wanted to revisit the exchange... publicly, in his latest "Hanging Chad" column for The Eastern Progress. Please read this, it's hilarious: "Giving Back."

Seems the going theme of this week's paper is numbers. The 10 best this, the five best that, six things etc.

Well I think the number one job to have at the paper is mine.

I get to talk about what ever I want. Every week I could spill my soul, write for a laugh or just plain talk about stupid stuff. (Which I sometimes did.)

I think it's time to address some of my fans now.

"The self-serving drivel that you put your name on is, in short, the hands down worst writing I have ever come across," my number one fan Ian Boudreau wrote me once in an e-mail.

He then went on to state the world was coming to an end because I write, and then gave me what I think may be the best compliment anyone has given me about my career: he called me the "Kevin Federline of journalism."

That was it -- he didn't offer any rejoinder or defense. He just quoted my e-mail. I guess I still win. But the funniest part of his column wasn't his mention of my angry letter, it was the fact that he claims some kind of Fourth Estate defense, as if he were an actual journalist. Checkit:
I would have loved to respond to one of the political groups on campus who wrote a letter to the editor saying The Eastern Progress doesn't write enough stuff in support of that party.

We are, by what the Constitution set up, supposed to be a watchdog of the government, not its guard dog. Buy an ad if you want to get your message out there, and if you still think we are unfair, watch Fox for your fill.

Keep dreaming, Chad. If your interest in Facebook and your own "chiseled abs" are any indication, you're not coming close to any kind of "watchdog" status. I'd feel differently about this if he'd actually been covering something relevant, but as it is, his column was simply a space in the paper devoted to the inane inner thoughts of a very forgettable man.

I'd like to write him again to say thanks for mentioning me in a column. It would also be a nice touch, I think, to enclose a copy of Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style."