Friday, May 12, 2006

Today in the World

Today's post is brought to you by the positive energy of Zoloft.

Ann Coulter is, as always, beating the war gong; predictably, she's using Rep. Patrick "Bumper Kars" Kennedy as a mallet.

My favorite part of her latest column is the part where she wonders where the sorely-missed angry mob of of club-wielding skinheads is when it comes to the "Talibanist" who's enrolled at Yale.

I'm also thrilled to see that our cell phone providers have been cooperating so fully with the National Security Agency's efforts to figure out who's been calling who for the past six years. I've heard all the ridiculous whining about this, so I went and checked out Ye Olde Constitution. Sure enough, there's nothing in there that says personal cell phone records can't be turned over to a government spy agency. See? The great people on "Fox & Friends in the Morning" are right!

(Note: I did see a part of something called the "Fourth Amendment" about searches and seizures and some legalistic thing called "probable cause," but I'm pretty sure it doesn't apply.)

Since things in Iraq are going so smoothly, by the way, we should probably deploy soldiers to our borders to keep the Mexicans out. Because, you know, we have troops to spare.

Well, that's it for me. If anyone needs me, I'll be drinking Victory Gin in Room 101. Remember: the word of the day is "Zeitgeist."