Monday, March 27, 2006

UPDATE: Worst columnist ever responds!

Chad Hutchison, the author of the EKU Eastern Progress column "The Hanging Chad," has responded to my email from last week:

I love my ad-whoring fans. If you want a real taste of my writing ability check out my articles called Sometimes I cry, Losing my Innocence, or Spring Breaks Should be Remembered. And you screwed up some of your own copy editing. puncuation [sic] goes on the insides of quotations, and the movie is "Mask" that your [sic] talking about. Give my regards to Falk.


Naturally I was thrilled, so I wrote back immediately:

Mr. Hutchison,

You're absolutely right -- punctuation normally goes on the inside of quotation marks, and the movie was indeed "Mask." My mistake -- but you'll have to forgive me for taking e-mail editing a little less seriously than I would for a piece, say, that's intended for publication.

I read those examples of your so-called "writing ability," and I'm afraid my opinion hasn't changed a bit. Your column is still self-serving, poorly written, and filled with ridiculous accolades for yourself and your girlfriend/fiancee. Guess what: nobody cares.

The point is, if your column is any indication whatsoever, you have no writing ability. And I repeat my request that you immediately cease and desist producing new ones. The fact that you are published at all is a slap in the face to every writer who actually is worth a second glance.


Ian Boudreau

P.S.: When correcting someone's punctuation, it is normally wise to make sure one has capitalized the first letter in the following sentence. Use this in your next column: you are the Kevin Federline of journalism.

Advantage: Gonzo.

It's about the only thing that takes the chill out of my NCAA tournament bracket being shot to pieces over the past week and a half -- Syracuse's Gerry McNamara decided he didn't really want to play and scored a measly two points in the Orange's first-round game, and one by one my final four picks have all choked -- notably the much-hated Duke and the less-hated Connecticut. I hate basketball.