Thursday, April 27, 2006

Return of the Moron

Keith Hernandez might just be enough to get me to watch Major League Baseball on television.

Normally I'm disinclined to do so, because watching nine straight innings of little or nothing actually happening doesn't exactly excite me the way a 160-pound tumor does, so I usually end up with the TV set tuned to Discovery Health and then just look up the scores and highlights at

Not any more. I missed Saturday's Mets vs. Padres game in San Diego, when Hernandez, the Mets' color commentator, blurted out:

"Who is the girl in the dugout, with the long hair? What's going on here? Only player personnel in the dugout."

Not content to leave fans wondering, he added,

"I won't say women belong in the kitchen, but they sure don't belong in the dugout."

The woman in the Padres' dugout was the team's massage therapist.

The beleaguered MLB could probably benefit by having more trolls like Hernandez and John Rocker around. I mean, keeping a couple idiots on the payroll who occasionally say profoundly stupid things on the air could potentially shift attention away from more embarrassing issues, such as the size of Barry Bonds' head.

Anyway, since Hernandez presumably still has a job, count me in as a baseball fan. I'll even watch Mets games, just in case.

Harry Caray says,