Thursday, September 01, 2005

Americans determined to have the rest of the world make fun of them

Evolution. A touchy subject, yeah?

Well, according to the New York Times, a recent poll has found that 64 percent of Americans think that "creationism" should be taught alongside evolution in schools.

This is stupid.

The reason this is so stupid is because the two ideas -- the theory of evolution and the religious belief that everything in the universe was created by a supreme being -- aren't talking about the same thing. They aren't about the same subject. They are two very different ideas that do not intersect at any point in their definitions.

"Creationism," or as it's being called more often "intelligent design," is a religious philosophy about the ultimate origin of things.

Evolutionary theory, on the other hand, is a school of thought designed to explain physical, observable phenomena, such as the fossil record, dinosaur bones, and apparent similarities between disparate species.

But Charles Darwin, that godless hell-bound communist, thought up that idea, which means that it's bad, and that the opposing theory must be true: God created everything in the universe in seven days, and everything that is must be exactly as it was at the time of creation.

While I was in high school, my Boy Scout troop took a trip to a greathouse built in the Adirondacks by the Vanderbilt family as a summer retreat from Manhattan. In this 100-year-old mountain getaway's yard, the family had a bowling alley installed. When any average-sized male walks into this bowling alley today, he must duck, since the ceiling is so low.

That's because people are taller today than they were 100 years ago.

I'm going to take a break here to let all the people who think God put dinosaur bones in the ground leave and surf on over to Pat Robertson's site, where they can figure out ways to assassinate South American dictators.


Here's the thing. The theory of evolution doens't preclude the involvement or design by a God on its own merits.

So why teach religion in classrooms? Could it be to establish authority over people who don't believe in the majority's system of faith?


Anyone feel like looking up Galileo and his crazy, heathen idea that the earth revolved around the sun?


Postscript - I thought about this post for a while, and wound up saving half and finishing it because I didn't have time to write a thesis on it. Anyway, I hope the point is wel-taken, and that people realize that what I'm saying is the two theories aren't incompatible. God can indeed exist alongside evolution. Take your pick - Monkeys or Mud.