Friday, November 19, 2004

Desperate House-wide receivers

You know, I was afraid that since starting this new blog, I'd lost my sense of humor. I was taking everything so seriously. But I was jumping to conclusions. Nothing to worry about, not when stuff like this "outrage" over Terrell Owens' Monday Night Football/Desperate Housewives skit is still taking up so much newsspace.

Don't get me wrong. I think Owens is a jerk. But this... this is ridiculous.

According to Sports Illustrated online's 10 Spot, the Federal Communications Commission's Michael Powell asked ABC reps if "Walt Disney would be proud" of the skit. Where did this guy find Quaaludes in this day and age? The 10-spot:

In fact, ABC insiders say Walt would prefer family fare like The Bachelor, where he would relish seeing how many women the "star" can make out with each week.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. I'm sure old Walt would be thrilled with the quality programming his own studio has been producing, too. Princess Jasmine could have appeared in the Arabian Nights version of Maxim.

What else do we have to work with today? People are still upset the world over about the young Marine who shot an unarmed Iraqi in Fallujah, the video of which was immediately sent out (naturally, without any real context) to the international community, such as it is. Send your thank-you notes to NBC's Kevin Sites.

There's a lot of Geneva Conventions-thumping going on, but just like Bible-thumpers, these guys are conveniently forgetting some of the more important clauses of the agreement; namely, they apply to uniformed members of recognized military.

I'm not saying that anyone doesn't have rights. But when you refuse to identify yourself as a combatant, you cease to be a soldier and begin to be a - uh oh, I'm going to say it - terrorist.

It's a bit like the hand-wringing going on over the fact that we might have damaged some mosques and hospitals. We can't damage mosques and hospitals!

That's true. But when snipers use minarets as vantage points, or hospital basements are used to store munitions, they cease to be mosques and hospitals. At that point, the mosque or hospital is, practically speaking, a military asset, and as such, a valid target.

So, did our Marine rifleman commit a "war crime"? I don't think so.